NOT THAT YOU ASKED

I first got into this column writing racket years ago by sending letters to the local paper about some of the outrageous antics of the Arkansas Legislature. Back then they were doing harmless but goofy things like passing special taxes on unmarried couple living together or creation science. I thought they were bad, but this current edition of the Legislature is about to make that bunch of good ole boys look like august statesmen in comparison.

Governor Hutchinson is beginning to look like the only grown-up in the state capitol. So far he has saved the private option, passed a middle class tax cut, and raised taxes on capital gains. If he keeps this up look for the Koch brothers to flood the state with money in four years to defeat him.

Meanwhile that group of circus clowns and escaped mental patients working at both ends of the Capitol building seem to be in some sort of competition to see who can introduce the most idiotic bill. Every day as I read the Democrat-Gazette I have to keep reminding myself that it's not the National Enquirer.

One anti abortion bill has already passed the House, and it was proposed by a woman legislator. It would make it illegal for a doctor to administer aid to a woman seeking certain abortion services by teleconference. He would have to be present in the room to do so. Now, that may seem reasonable to you, but right now that particular medical practice is not, nor never has been used in Arkansas. We are on the verge of banning something that we already don't do.

Another bill that is certain to be featured on the Daily Show if it passes would allow the family of a murder victim to be present at the execution of their loved one's killer. Just what we need in Arkansas. A new tradition where you can pack the kids and granny in the SUV and go down to the state pen to watch somebody get the needle. McDonalds will probably come up with a happy meal for the occasion that you can pick up at the drive thru on your way to the prison.

Possibly the worst bill to come up was proposed by our own State Representative Dwight Tosh. He wants Arkansas to have a "Stand Your Ground" law. This bill would allow any citizen to use deadly force anywhere in the state if they are the victim of a crime, see a crime in progress, or believe someone is about to commit a crime. That might work well for Rep. Tosh who is a law enforcement professional, but for the rest of us it would probably result in an "Oops moment" that we wouldn't be able to take back.

This is just like the law in Florida that allowed a rent-a-cop named George Zimmerman to shoot and kill a teenager and get away with it. What was the teenager's crime? He was a black kid walking through a white neighborhood at night wearing a hoodie. If this thing becomes law, I'd advise all African American teenagers to get rid of any hoodies they might own.

This bill is so bad that even the Democrat-Gazette is against it. That's the same paper that supports the state practice of honoring Dr. Martin Luther King and Gen. Robert E. Lee on the same day. It actually argued in an editorial that honoring each man on separate days would be the same as the separate but equal laws practiced in the Jim Crow South. I would have burst out in laughter at that argument if I hadn't been horrified by the thought that they were serious. The author of that editorial would be right at home in our present Legislature.